For 2013, I’ll trade a Paris Trip if I Can FEEL Happy and Confident Instead

So many people I know on social media follow and love author, Danielle LaPorte. I first heard of her a few years ago and because the people I know speak so highly of her, I decided to subscribe to her blog.

I’ve been reading her blogposts on and off for a few years now. I say ‘on and off’ because somehow my brain can’t relate to everything she writes. I read some blogposts and really resonate with them and others I just can’t find a connection with.

Last week Danielle came out with a book called, The Desire Map. She’s been mentioning it on her blogposts as well as on social media and I noticed that I completely resonate with everything that’s been said about it. Something in me told me to buy it because I needed it, but then the logic part of my brain told me that since The Desire Map is a little pricey and I can’t relate to many of her things, perhaps I shouldn’t buy it.

My heart and my gut kept telling me that I HAD to read this book. But my brain told me to not buy it. My brain did a great job at playing quite a number on me because it was even telling me that I’m too busy and don’t even have time to read this book. I also started hearing those voices that said, ‘What if you don’t like it?’

In the end I decided to go with my heart and gut. And let me tell you… this is one of the best books on personal growth I have ever read. It actually didn’t even feel like a typical book. Instead it felt like therapy. It was the therapy I’ve been needing but didn’t know I was in need of.

A whole lot is covered in The Desire Map but what I loved most was the part on goal settings. I’m so used to writing out goals I want to accomplish each year and then I find that I don’t accomplish most of them. Typical, right?

Year after year, this is how my goals look like:

  • Lose weight so I can fit in a size 6
  • Read 1 book a week
  • Cook more often; less takeout and restaurant food
  • Make more money than last year

Danielle mentions something that makes a lot of sense. Instead of writing out physical goals, write out how you want to feel. For example, using my examples, I need to ask myself, how would I feel if I lost weight, if I would fit in a size 6, if I read 1 book a week, it I cooked more often, if I made more money.

My answer would be that I want to feel confident, sexy, smart, healthy and rich.

The next step would be to write out tons of examples that would make me feel this way. For example:

  • I feel sexy when I wear a skirt or a dress.
  • I feel sexy when I wear heels.
  • I feel sexy when I get my hair blown out.
  • I feel sexy when I wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick.
  • I feel smart when I help out others on something they’re stuck at.
  • I feel smart when I’m able to figure things out on my own.
  • I feel healthy when I eat raw foods (as opposed to cook foods).
  • I feel healthy when I eat vegetarian dishes.
  • I feel healthy when I drink more water.
  • I feel healthy when I eat whole foods (as opposed to processed foods).
  • I feel healthy when I eat fruits, vegetables and greens.
  • I feel rich when I’m able to help out my family.
  • I feel rich when I donate to good causes.
  • I feel rich when I help out children in need.

I can feel this way everyday and do a combo of these on a daily basis and I would finally be accomplishing the goals I set out to do. What I would do is put the words: confident, sexy, smart, healthy and rich on a post-it. And place that post-it wherever I would see it most (in my case it would be in my work area). I know that if I saw that post-it daily, it would automatically be in my sub-conscious to do things that would make me feel that way. And for example, I won’t have to wait till I’m a size 6 in order to feel sexy. I could simply put on a dress, heels, some light makeup, and voila, I’d be feeling sexy instantly.

Thinking about it, I could see how I would by default have a much higher chance of accomplishing my original goals if I focused on these adjectives. For example, since I want to feel smart, I’ll read more books. Since I want to feel healthy and sexy, I’ll eat more whole foods and that alone will help me lose weight and even when I go to restaurants, I would most likely order a salad because it doesn’t have processed ingredients. Since I’ll feel more focused and want to make the money to so I can help out others, I’ll be making more than I did the year before.

And of course I’m not perfect and at times I’ll fall off track but doing things this way I could see how I’ll easily get right back on track.

I wrote about myself in this blogpost and gave you my examples because I wanted this exercise to be crystal clear to you. I really feel Danielle is on to something great here and I love this new concept of goal settings.

So the question for you is… How do you want to FEEL in this coming year? And what actions can you do to feel that way?

I’d love it if you tried this exercise. I have a feeling that it will end up working out for you. And if you try it, I’d love to know what you think of it. Feel free to reply to this email and let me know your thoughts.

I also HIGHLY recommend Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map. Feel free to read more about it here. Since Christmas is right around the corner, it also makes for a great gift for you. At least for me, I notice that I prefer to receive gifts that help me with my personal growth.

(Since I absolutely LOVED that book, I decided to sign up as an affiliate, so I’ve posted my affiliate link in this blogpost). But just so you can have peace of mind, I would NEVER recommend a product that I don’t like, don’t believe in and that I personally haven’t tried myself. I always stand behind everything that I recommend.

Much Love,


9 thoughts on “For 2013, I’ll trade a Paris Trip if I Can FEEL Happy and Confident Instead

  1. Hi Dennise,
    I am very much agree with you, so many of us write down our goals and most of those goals never even make to the first phase, In my opinion it could be because of lack of commitment. But ….. as I read your thoughts about “The Desire Map.”It make me realize that we can help ourselves by focus in what and how we feel about those goals and ourselves and by doing that, we will feel great and by feeling great will brings out more excitement to accomplish those goals right?
    Thank you much for sharing your thoughts.


  2. Thank you so much for summarizing what you got out of this book. I wanted to read her book but I am so slammed with education right now. But I got south out of the exercise you shared and will get great benefit from that little nugget! Thanks so much for posting this!

    1. I’m glad you loved that exercise Angela. Although Danielle mentioned lots of golden nuggets in her book, this one is one that really resonated with me.

  3. Thanks so much for the book recommendation Dennisse. I am new to your website and I am just discovering wealth of information that is on here.

    Another book that I can whole-heatedly recommend to you especially knowing that you are Integrated Nutrition Health Coach is The Perfect Day Plan – it is written by Australian author and I think you can find web version on google books. It has been a life-changing book for me. I hope you enjoy it.

    Always follow your gut instinct! Our minds are often full of rubbish – fear, doubt and scepticism.
    I have one rule: if the Mind advice is loving it is my brilliant mind, if it is not it is my fearful, fragile Ego.

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